The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
