it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Text me some of your sweat
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
