also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
