dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
