i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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