Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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