I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
