So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
