We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
