So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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