careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
