they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
porn star boner night. come get it.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
