never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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