lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
