Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
