He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
