I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
