I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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