PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Randomize
