do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
