so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
