Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Your penis caused this!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
