I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
