You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
