Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
she smelled like a LAN party
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
