Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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