How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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