she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
