Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
