Who wears a wallet chain?!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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