I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
