Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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