I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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