and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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