she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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