Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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