Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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