yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
