Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize