We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
