How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
