New invention idea: vibrating tampons
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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