At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Bring me that man meat
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
