My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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