i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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