Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
