He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
