Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
