I must be too annoying 4 u.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I am mentally ready for anal.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
