Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize