my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
