I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
