in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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