I cockslap morals
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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